By Paula Szuchman and Jenny Anderson
http://www.amazon.com/Spousonomics-Economics-Master-Marriage-Dishes/product-reviews/0385343949/ref=cm_cr_pr_btm_link_1?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=0&sortBy=bySubmissionDateDescending
Book review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.
Although
appropriate, the title of this book may put people off because it makes
the book appear, at first glance, gimmicky, light, superficial, and
trite. But the old aphorism holds true, “You can’t tell a book by its
cover.” The subtitle more accurately conveys the important message the
authors have for readers.
I loved this
book. As in my reviews of other books that have to do with
relationships, communication, listening, dealing with difficult people,
or self-improvement, I claim that any book that offers advice and
suggestions designed to improve people’s lives or relationships make a
worthwhile and valuable contribution. Admittedly, that requires that
readers read the books, absorb the information, internalize it, and
practice it in their daily lives. Too often, I’m afraid, those who
could benefit from the information the most are NOT those who read the
books!
Having taught a
course in interpersonal communication for more than twenty-five years, I
discovered that the most interesting part of the course—according to
student evaluations—was the section on relationship development,
relationship evaluation, and relationship improvement. It was an
upper-level undergraduate course and seemed to come at just the right
time when students were thinking about, planning for, or beginning
serious relationships.
One of the basic
principles I espoused, and one that I wrote about in my textbook,
UNDERSTANDING INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION (HarperCollins), is that
although the idea that a relationship is 50-50—perhaps, thought of as an
ideal—it is a wrong concept and does NOT work in practice for two
reasons: 1) 50-50 is a subjective assessment; thus, what is 50-50 in one
person’s mind is not necessarily 50-50 in another’s, and it leaves a
great deal of room for debate and disagreement. 2) 50-50 does not work
in practice simply because most people do not fulfill their part of the
agreement, and a relationship without full commitment cannot last.
To make a
relationship work successfully, partners need to commit themselves to
giving the relationship far more than a 50% commitment, even 60-75%.
The best approach is not to deal in percentages at all and simply say,
“I am willing to give this relationship whatever it takes to make it
successful.”
My wife and I
have been married for well over 40 years (to each other!), and we have
found that we each do everything we can (and, what needs to be done at
any given time) to not just make our own life more satisfying and
comfortable but to make life more satisfying and comfortable for our
spouse as well. The more satisfying and comfortable we can make life
for the person with whom we are living, the better our own life is. It
is a joint effort, but it NEVER comes down to percentages or who is
doing the most or giving the most effort. So what? We are both working
for the same purpose—to make our relationship more satisfying.
Szuchman and
Anderson have written a terrific book. They are fine writers, their
concepts are accurate and helpful, their case studies are fun and
interesting, and their advice and suggestions are both constructive and
instructive. I delighted in the economic references, and it certainly
gives the book a different slant than many others of the same genre.
Not only did the
authors offer 9 pages of notes (302 items), but they clearly stated
their investigation and research methods on pages xiii through xv of the
introduction.
I am totally
unaffected by the fact that some of the economic applications made may
not be totally accurate—as one reviewer at Amazon.com (Benjamin Van
Kammen) pointed out—these are amateurs (and they admit it), and it is
really unlikely, as Kammen lamented in his review: “I am afraid that
amateurs will read this book and come away with misconceptions about the
assumptions and applicability of ideas such as rationality,
neoclassical economics, temporal discounting, and information
asymmetry.” Seriously?
What makes this
book more readable than many others is the authors’ sense of humor.
Their “take” on the world is delightful and delightfully engaging. You
may not discover anything that is totally new to you (however, I would
be surprised by that since most readers will never have considered the
possibility of applying some basic economic concepts to relationships!),
but you will not just find the case studies interesting, you will find
Szuchman and Anderson’s deft touch and humor so captivating you may not
want to put the book down once you begin reading it.
Spousonomics: Using economics to master love, marriage, and dirty dishes can be purchased at Amazon.
Monday, December 31, 2012
Monday, December 24, 2012
How to click with people: The secret to better relationships in business and in life
By Rick Kirschner
http://www.amazon.com/How-Click-People-Relationships-Business/dp/1401323200/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1311345542&sr=1-1
Book review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.
The first thing I looked for when I opened this book was a section on “Notes,” or “References,” or “Other Readings,” or anything that would give you a clue that Kirschner reached outside of himself and his own personal resources to write this book. There are none at all. There isn’t even an index to the book.
The second thing I looked for when I opened this book—after finding no sources of any kind!—was the degree to which Kirschner’s information is accurate. I think there is no question on this; however, I found most of what he said to be common sense and common knowledge. Anyone who operates in the world today—in any capacity, I might add—knows and uses this information. Do we need it codified for us? Probably not. Does Kirschner add anything to the communication world? Not very much.
All that being said, did I find Kirschner’s suggestions for dealing with troublesome others to be valuable or even useful. Yes, I did. And I believe that any book, article, set of information, or advice that helps people get along well (or better) with others is worthwhile. This book is full of hundreds of practical, useful suggestions for getting along well with others.
In Chapter 7, “Clicking Electronically,” I found it interesting that Kirschner deals with clicking over the phone, clicking using e-mail, and clicking when using social networks, however, he never mentions clicking via texting. Admittedly, many of the suggestions for clicking using e-mail would be useful and appropriate, but a separate section on texting would make the book more up-to-date.
What I appreciated throughout the book was Kirschner’s emphasis on the importance of listening. Despite the context, everyone is likely to fair better if he or she begins with a listening perspective. He reveals the importance of listening by offering “A Short Course on Listening,” in Chapter 3, then refers back to that information throughout this 254-page book.
This is a “how-to” book designed for beginners—those with little or no experience in the world of relationships, getting along with others, making connections, being successful, developing meaningful associations, and communicating effectively.
One of the keys to success is captured by Kirscher when he says, “Stumbling blocks can cause a lot of frustration, and removing the stumbling block may require patience, flexibility, and determination” (p. 218). Patience, flexibility, and determination—no matter the context, issue, or people involved—is what effectiveness is all about. Often, we demand instant success or instant results, and the world of getting along with others doesn’t usually operate at that speed.
How to click with people: The secret to better relationships in business and in life can be purchased at Amazon.
http://www.amazon.com/How-Click-People-Relationships-Business/dp/1401323200/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1311345542&sr=1-1
Book review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.
The first thing I looked for when I opened this book was a section on “Notes,” or “References,” or “Other Readings,” or anything that would give you a clue that Kirschner reached outside of himself and his own personal resources to write this book. There are none at all. There isn’t even an index to the book.
The second thing I looked for when I opened this book—after finding no sources of any kind!—was the degree to which Kirschner’s information is accurate. I think there is no question on this; however, I found most of what he said to be common sense and common knowledge. Anyone who operates in the world today—in any capacity, I might add—knows and uses this information. Do we need it codified for us? Probably not. Does Kirschner add anything to the communication world? Not very much.
All that being said, did I find Kirschner’s suggestions for dealing with troublesome others to be valuable or even useful. Yes, I did. And I believe that any book, article, set of information, or advice that helps people get along well (or better) with others is worthwhile. This book is full of hundreds of practical, useful suggestions for getting along well with others.
In Chapter 7, “Clicking Electronically,” I found it interesting that Kirschner deals with clicking over the phone, clicking using e-mail, and clicking when using social networks, however, he never mentions clicking via texting. Admittedly, many of the suggestions for clicking using e-mail would be useful and appropriate, but a separate section on texting would make the book more up-to-date.
What I appreciated throughout the book was Kirschner’s emphasis on the importance of listening. Despite the context, everyone is likely to fair better if he or she begins with a listening perspective. He reveals the importance of listening by offering “A Short Course on Listening,” in Chapter 3, then refers back to that information throughout this 254-page book.
This is a “how-to” book designed for beginners—those with little or no experience in the world of relationships, getting along with others, making connections, being successful, developing meaningful associations, and communicating effectively.
One of the keys to success is captured by Kirscher when he says, “Stumbling blocks can cause a lot of frustration, and removing the stumbling block may require patience, flexibility, and determination” (p. 218). Patience, flexibility, and determination—no matter the context, issue, or people involved—is what effectiveness is all about. Often, we demand instant success or instant results, and the world of getting along with others doesn’t usually operate at that speed.
How to click with people: The secret to better relationships in business and in life can be purchased at Amazon.
Monday, December 17, 2012
The good among the great: 19 traits of the most admirable, creative, and joyous people
By Donald Van de Mark
http://www.amazon.com/Good-Among-Great-Admirable-Creative/dp/0984606122/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1311289533&sr=1-1
Book review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.
I have read many self-help books, many motivational books, and many books of support and encouragement. I have even written a number of them myself, and my college textbooks on communication, in a sophisticated way, are like self-help, motivational books that offer students support and encouragement. Van de Mark’s book is all of these in one.
Also, throughout my professional career, too, I have depended upon the work of Abraham Maslow, and Maslow’s hierarchy of needs appears in many of my textbooks. I have never read Maslow’s nineteen specific personality traits that make people exceptional. It is these traits that provide the theoretical and philosophical underpinnings for Van de Mark’s book. He offers readers one chapter per trait.
I have to admit that I begin reading books like this one with a great deal of skepticism. Often, there is so much repetition between such books as these, and they reek of common sense and platitudes that offer little that is new. That being said, however, I have often felt that any book or set of ideas that encourage people to become more creative and joyous—much less admirable!—is, automatically, useful and valuable. Why not encourage people to improve themselves?
Well, let me tell you, this is really a very well-written book. Although the nineteen traits (autonomous, loving, ethical, unaffected, private, detached, experiential, realistic, laid back, performance and process oriented, egalitarian, jolly, empathetic, dutiful, appreciative, creative, exuberant, joyous, and transcendent) are not earth-shattering, nor do they plow new territory, Van de Mark is a terrific story teller, and along with some well-known celebrities (Warren Buffet, Meryl Streep, Ellen DeGeneres, Charles Schwab, Robin Williams, and Steve Case, to name a few), the book reads easily, comfortably, and will hold your attention.
If you are looking for quick condensations of what he writes in each chapter, read the “Takeaways” he offers at the end of every chapter. It is in those sections, especially, where the self-help orientation of the book is most pronounced. There are always five or six ideas that readers can survey, adopt, internalize, and practice.
Yes, I was impressed. It is clear that this is a well-constructed book. The ideas are interesting, and if you are looking for support and encouragement in your attempts to improve your life, Van de Mark offers a great place to begin your search.
The good among the great: 19 traits of the most admirable, creative, and joyous people can be purchased at Amazon.
http://www.amazon.com/Good-Among-Great-Admirable-Creative/dp/0984606122/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1311289533&sr=1-1
Book review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.
I have read many self-help books, many motivational books, and many books of support and encouragement. I have even written a number of them myself, and my college textbooks on communication, in a sophisticated way, are like self-help, motivational books that offer students support and encouragement. Van de Mark’s book is all of these in one.
Also, throughout my professional career, too, I have depended upon the work of Abraham Maslow, and Maslow’s hierarchy of needs appears in many of my textbooks. I have never read Maslow’s nineteen specific personality traits that make people exceptional. It is these traits that provide the theoretical and philosophical underpinnings for Van de Mark’s book. He offers readers one chapter per trait.
I have to admit that I begin reading books like this one with a great deal of skepticism. Often, there is so much repetition between such books as these, and they reek of common sense and platitudes that offer little that is new. That being said, however, I have often felt that any book or set of ideas that encourage people to become more creative and joyous—much less admirable!—is, automatically, useful and valuable. Why not encourage people to improve themselves?
Well, let me tell you, this is really a very well-written book. Although the nineteen traits (autonomous, loving, ethical, unaffected, private, detached, experiential, realistic, laid back, performance and process oriented, egalitarian, jolly, empathetic, dutiful, appreciative, creative, exuberant, joyous, and transcendent) are not earth-shattering, nor do they plow new territory, Van de Mark is a terrific story teller, and along with some well-known celebrities (Warren Buffet, Meryl Streep, Ellen DeGeneres, Charles Schwab, Robin Williams, and Steve Case, to name a few), the book reads easily, comfortably, and will hold your attention.
If you are looking for quick condensations of what he writes in each chapter, read the “Takeaways” he offers at the end of every chapter. It is in those sections, especially, where the self-help orientation of the book is most pronounced. There are always five or six ideas that readers can survey, adopt, internalize, and practice.
Yes, I was impressed. It is clear that this is a well-constructed book. The ideas are interesting, and if you are looking for support and encouragement in your attempts to improve your life, Van de Mark offers a great place to begin your search.
The good among the great: 19 traits of the most admirable, creative, and joyous people can be purchased at Amazon.
Monday, December 10, 2012
The information: A history, a theory, a flood
By James Gleick
http://www.amazon.com/Information-History-Theory-Flood/dp/0375423729
Book review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.
With 426 footnotes, a 26-page bibliography, and 426 pages of text material, this book if formidable for anyone, but the kind of information located here, too, is likely to attract only those with intense interest in the subject. The book is excellent, well-written, and certainly well-researched, but I wonder how many people in the general population would find this book of interest? It is technical, academic, and specialized.
The reason I picked up this book is a simple one: my interest in language and the development of the word. For over thirty years I have written college textbooks on the subject of communication, and each one (without fail) contained a chapter on “verbal communication.” For the current textbook, COMMUNICATING EFFECTIVELY, 10th edition (McGraw-Hill, 2012), it is chapter 3. These chapters on language always appear near the front of the book and provide basic knowledge and understandings about the whole process of communication.
I was especially impressed with the writer’s writing style and the way he wove together the wealth of research and facts he accumulated during his investigation. Also noteworthy, is the way he made sense of it all for the reader. For example, he writes on page 273, “His point was that in the microscopic details, if we watch the motions of individual molecules, their behavior is the same forward and backward in time. We can run the film backward. But pan out, watch the box of gas as an ensemble, and statistically the mixing process becomes a one-way street. We can watch the fluid for all eternity, and it will never divide itself into hot molecules on one side and cool on the other” (p. 273).
Professor Donald Mitchell wrote this in his review of the book at Amazon.com: “If you love books about the history of science that tie many ideas, theories, and developments together and aren't a scientist, you'll have a good time with The Information.” Mitchell thought the book was too elementary for people who are in the field.
Samuel Gompers, in his review of the book at Amazon.com, really focused in one essential element that potential readers must know before pursuing this book: “Be advised however: this book isn't actually a history of information. It's a history of the scientists who deciphered the physical principles of information. And there is a definite difference. The former would be overly technical; the latter...Gleick's end result, is a nice and not too deep biography of the wizards who figured it all out.” Perhaps, that is what I found so fascinating. I thought the manner in which Gleick draws together all of the major developments throughout the history of information is spectacular, and makes this book a delightful, informative, and valuable addition to any personal library.
The information: A history, a theory, a flood can be purchased at Amazon.
http://www.amazon.com/Information-History-Theory-Flood/dp/0375423729
Book review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.
With 426 footnotes, a 26-page bibliography, and 426 pages of text material, this book if formidable for anyone, but the kind of information located here, too, is likely to attract only those with intense interest in the subject. The book is excellent, well-written, and certainly well-researched, but I wonder how many people in the general population would find this book of interest? It is technical, academic, and specialized.
The reason I picked up this book is a simple one: my interest in language and the development of the word. For over thirty years I have written college textbooks on the subject of communication, and each one (without fail) contained a chapter on “verbal communication.” For the current textbook, COMMUNICATING EFFECTIVELY, 10th edition (McGraw-Hill, 2012), it is chapter 3. These chapters on language always appear near the front of the book and provide basic knowledge and understandings about the whole process of communication.
I was especially impressed with the writer’s writing style and the way he wove together the wealth of research and facts he accumulated during his investigation. Also noteworthy, is the way he made sense of it all for the reader. For example, he writes on page 273, “His point was that in the microscopic details, if we watch the motions of individual molecules, their behavior is the same forward and backward in time. We can run the film backward. But pan out, watch the box of gas as an ensemble, and statistically the mixing process becomes a one-way street. We can watch the fluid for all eternity, and it will never divide itself into hot molecules on one side and cool on the other” (p. 273).
Professor Donald Mitchell wrote this in his review of the book at Amazon.com: “If you love books about the history of science that tie many ideas, theories, and developments together and aren't a scientist, you'll have a good time with The Information.” Mitchell thought the book was too elementary for people who are in the field.
Samuel Gompers, in his review of the book at Amazon.com, really focused in one essential element that potential readers must know before pursuing this book: “Be advised however: this book isn't actually a history of information. It's a history of the scientists who deciphered the physical principles of information. And there is a definite difference. The former would be overly technical; the latter...Gleick's end result, is a nice and not too deep biography of the wizards who figured it all out.” Perhaps, that is what I found so fascinating. I thought the manner in which Gleick draws together all of the major developments throughout the history of information is spectacular, and makes this book a delightful, informative, and valuable addition to any personal library.
The information: A history, a theory, a flood can be purchased at Amazon.
Monday, December 3, 2012
Too many bosses, too few leaders: The three essential principles you need to become an extraordinary leader
By Rajeev Peshawaria
http://www.amazon.com/Too-Many-Bosses-Leaders-ebook/dp/B0043RSK0S
Book review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.
I am totally unfamiliar with Peshawaria, but his short biography on the back flyleaf is impressive: [He is] “currently the Chief Executive Officer of the ICLIF Leadership & Governace Center in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. He was a founding member of Goldman Sachs’s leadership development program called Pine Street and served as Chief Learning Officer for Morgan Stanley and the Coca-Cola Company as well as Global Director of Leadership Development programs at American Express.” That kind of a background is impressive and proves that Peshawaria has experience to share with readers.
I liked this book for the way Peshawaria writes and for the wonderful examples he uses throughout the book. I loved his three essential principles: 1) clearly define your purpose and your values, 2) nobody can motivate another person because every individual comes premotivated, and 3) a leader’s job is to create the conditions that will galvanize the energy of others to facilitate sustainable collective success (pp. xvi-xviii).
I am not suggesting that this book is full of revelations or new discoveries, because it is not. It is definitely for beginning leaders because the stories here are motivational, encouraging, and certainly full of useful (for beginning leaders) insights and observations. I loved the author’s own personal experiences, and I believe his advice is spot on. With a background like his (see paragraph one above), you would not only expect but respect his additional personal experiences.
Peshawaria writes directly to the reader: “As you read about these real features in more detail below, consider one more key point about employee motivation” (p. 5). You really feel 1) Peshawaria knows what he is talking about, 2) has a real, sincere passion for sharing what he knows, and 3) wants readers to understand, learn, and absorb his lessons. It is truly a delightful experience—one that makes you feel you are in the hands of a benevolent mentor.
Although I can’t compare this book with other similar leadership books—since this is not my area of expertise or reading experience—I do think Peshawaria has something significant and important to say to young leaders, leaders looking for an extra shot in the arm, or leaders who are simply looking for confirmation and reassurance that what they are doing is correct, and it is for these reasons that I recommend this book without hesitation or reservation. Besides, he’s a good writer, and the book is a good read.
Too many busses, too few leaders: The three essential principles you need to become an extraordinary leader can be purchased at Amazon.
http://www.amazon.com/Too-Many-Bosses-Leaders-ebook/dp/B0043RSK0S
Book review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.
I am totally unfamiliar with Peshawaria, but his short biography on the back flyleaf is impressive: [He is] “currently the Chief Executive Officer of the ICLIF Leadership & Governace Center in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. He was a founding member of Goldman Sachs’s leadership development program called Pine Street and served as Chief Learning Officer for Morgan Stanley and the Coca-Cola Company as well as Global Director of Leadership Development programs at American Express.” That kind of a background is impressive and proves that Peshawaria has experience to share with readers.
I liked this book for the way Peshawaria writes and for the wonderful examples he uses throughout the book. I loved his three essential principles: 1) clearly define your purpose and your values, 2) nobody can motivate another person because every individual comes premotivated, and 3) a leader’s job is to create the conditions that will galvanize the energy of others to facilitate sustainable collective success (pp. xvi-xviii).
I am not suggesting that this book is full of revelations or new discoveries, because it is not. It is definitely for beginning leaders because the stories here are motivational, encouraging, and certainly full of useful (for beginning leaders) insights and observations. I loved the author’s own personal experiences, and I believe his advice is spot on. With a background like his (see paragraph one above), you would not only expect but respect his additional personal experiences.
Peshawaria writes directly to the reader: “As you read about these real features in more detail below, consider one more key point about employee motivation” (p. 5). You really feel 1) Peshawaria knows what he is talking about, 2) has a real, sincere passion for sharing what he knows, and 3) wants readers to understand, learn, and absorb his lessons. It is truly a delightful experience—one that makes you feel you are in the hands of a benevolent mentor.
Although I can’t compare this book with other similar leadership books—since this is not my area of expertise or reading experience—I do think Peshawaria has something significant and important to say to young leaders, leaders looking for an extra shot in the arm, or leaders who are simply looking for confirmation and reassurance that what they are doing is correct, and it is for these reasons that I recommend this book without hesitation or reservation. Besides, he’s a good writer, and the book is a good read.
Too many busses, too few leaders: The three essential principles you need to become an extraordinary leader can be purchased at Amazon.
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