Click: The magic of instant connections

Click: The magic of instant connections
By Ori Brafman and Rom Brafman


Book review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.


The stories the Brafmans tell, the conversational language used, and the effective way they incorporate research findings and studies, make this a compelling read.  The only problem I see is that some readers may find that much of what they write about is common sense.  That doesn’t discredit the information nor does it detract from the quality or worth of the book; most people need to have this kind of substance to reinforce and underscore what they already know and practice.  There is nothing wrong with material that shores up and bolsters us in the ways we think and behave.


Having written a best-selling college textbook on interpersonal communication (my book, Understanding Interpersonal Communication, went through 7 editions), I can tell you that the information the Brafman’s offer is “right on.”  What the Brafmans add to any material on the subject is numerous examples that bring the information to life and add power and zeal to it.


If you’re just looking for an interesting, short (192-pages), and useful book that will occupy you for a couple of hours, this is a good selection.  You’ll lose nothing but a couple of hours, and it may be that you will have your behavior reinforced, your skill sets enhanced, and your overall ability to connect with others strengthened.  Nothing wrong with that!


This book is available at Amazon.com: Click: The magic of instant connections

Well Being: The Five Essential Elements

Well Being: The Five Essential Elements
By Tom Rath and Jim Harter


Book review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.


I like this book for many reasons.  Here are ten.  First, it underscores and encourages all of the activities and behaviors that I support — and have supported in my essays.  This book could easily have been titled: IMPROVING YOUR LIFE AND THEN SOME!!!


Second, it is supported by great evidence.  The Gallup organization studied people in more than 150 countries.  “Rath has been with Gallup for 14 years and currently leads Gallup’s workplace research and leadership consulting around the world” (from the back flyleaf).  Rath has degrees from the University of Michigan and the University of Pennsylvania — all Big Ten!!!!  (With tongue squarely in my cheek, there needs to be no other reason, of course, than the fact he is a U of M graduate!!!!)


Harter joined Gallup in 1985 and has a Ph.D. in psychological and cultural studies from the University of Nebraska.  Both are insiders in the Gallup organization and with their background and experience not just in polling but in interpreting of polling results, they are clearly experts who can depended upon for their credibility and expertise.


Third, it is written in a comfortable, easy, conversational style which makes reading it both pleasant and fast.  The book is already small (5 1/2-inches by 8 1/4-inches), and they have chosen to print each line almost double-spaced from each other.  This puts only 24-25 lines on a page in the essential first five chapters.


Fourth, it is practical.  Look, for example, at this excerpt from the chapter on “Physical Wellbeing”: “As you walk through a grocery store, one simple way to sort through what foods are best is to look for fruits and vegetables that have darker tones of red, green, and blue.  Look for reds in apples, tomatoes, strawberries, raspberries, red peppers, radishes, chili peppers, and pomegranates.  Healthy greens include broccoli, asparagus, artichokes, spinach, sprouts, lettuce, arugula, collard greens, kale, or Swiss chard.  Blue tones include blueberries, blackberries, cabbage, and grapes” (p. 77).


As you can see from the quoted material above, there aren’t any stunning or surprising findings and outcomes IF you already do all the right things in your life.  The authors simply underscore and encourage you in the same directions.  It’s a little like having a parental voice on your shoulder telling you — in all the right areas — to continue doing what you’re doing because you’re doing a good job!  (If you’re unhealthy and NOT doing the right things: read this book!)


Fifth, I like the authors’ choice to focus on the five main areas (discovered by distilling the results of their worldwide survey): 1) career wellbeing, 2) social wellbeing, 3) financial wellbeing, 4) physical wellbeing, and 5) community wellbeing.  These, and I’m quoting from the front flyleaf here, “five universal, interconnected elements that shape our lives.”  The chapters are arranged in their order of importance for the average person they surveyed.


Sixth, at the end of each of the five opening chapters (covering the universal, interconnected elements listed above), the authors offer “Three Recommendations for Boosting . . . “ that type of wellbeing.  These are simply summaries of what the authors discuss within the chapter, but they serve as excellent summaries and reminders.


Seventh, at the end of the five opening chapters, and after several pages of concluding remarks — which take a total of 112-pages only — the authors offer “Additional Tools and Resources.”  This is where you will find all the charts, graphs, and statistical results (along with discussion), and I have to admit that most people may not want to read all of this information (about 109 pages of information), but it is fascinating and well-presented.  Incidentally, the technical area of the book is written in a smaller font, and the lines are closer together.  (It is clear the authors were aware of which part of the book would get read!)


Eighth, I like the fact that the authors have refrained from including “cute little stories” that capture reader attention and cater to “the least common denominator” in reader knowledge and understanding.  They aren’t necessary in this book.  Instead, the authors talk directly to the reader — or use the third person: “A recent experiment revealed that just 20 minutes of exercise could improve our mood for several hours after we finish working out” (p. 78)” or, “It might seem counterintuitive, but one of the best ways to combat fatigue is by exercising” (p. 79).


Ninth, the paragraphs are short, and the sections are short as well.  You can read through and gain the essential information of this book in just over an hour or so.  The material is so valuable, the advice so important, and the ideas so critical to boosting your wellbeing that it needs to be short and to the point.  It is.


Tenth, the results from reading this book work!  Yes, you may have a better understanding of what makes life worthwhile (from the front flyleaf), but the important result is that if you follow the instructions, absorb the information, and incorporate it into your daily life, there is no question that you will be a better person.  Not only that, but your friends, family members, colleagues, and others with whom you associate will notice the results.


Buy this book!


This book is available at Amazon.com: Well Being: The Five Essential Elements

Ubuntu! An inspiring story about an African tradition of teamwork and collaboration

Ubuntu! An inspiring story about an African tradition of teamwork and collaboration
By Stephen Lundin and Bob Nelson


Book review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.


J Garrison, from Nebraska, writes the following in his four-out-of-five star review of this book at Amazon.com: “This book appeals to many different audiences. It is a quick read with suitable content to be applicable to workplace management, team building, developing learning communities and personal reflection. It is a fictional work which takes the reader through the individual and professional transformation of John Peterson from an authoritarian manager and distant spouse and father to a reflective and caring person who understands the value and necessity of recognizing the humanity in all people. Peterson hits rock bottom in both his work and personal life. He encounters Ubuntu when one of his staff sacrifices personal time to help Peterson out of a professional jam. Thus begins the transformative power of Ubuntu; the power found within a collaborative community striving together by discovering a unity of purpose and humanity. This book is both uplifting and reflective. An added bonus is the insight into the South Africa of today; the power of reconciliation to begin the healing process from the years under apartheid, the poverty that still grips the country; the beauty of the veldt; and the magic that is Africa.”


The overall theme of this book is, “We can be fully human only when we live in harmony with others” (p. 99).


Perhaps it’s me, I’m a little tired of books built on parables that relate to business, and this is another fictional narrative designed to help businesses build teams and cooperative efforts.  It is well-written, and the book flows well.  Unfortunately, I feel the theory on which it is based is common sense, the “how-to-do-it” approach suggested is both predictable and rather mundane, and I felt no attachment to the characters (especially John Peterson) of this fictional story or the story development.  You quickly get a sense of “who cares?” that makes it—even though a quick read (131 pages in a 7.6 x 5.1-inch format)—rather dull and boring.  That is why I reproduced J. Garrison’s review from Amazon.com at the top of my review of the book.


This book is available at Amazon.com: Ubuntu!  An inspiring story about an African tradition of teamwork and collaboration

A life of being, having, and doing enough

A life of being, having, and doing enough
By Wayne Muller


Book review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.


The author writes: “What, then, can we do?  We begin by listening, paying attention, gradually uncovering our own clarity and wisdom.  If we are to learn to trust that inner knowing and rely upon the authority of our deepest heart’s intuition, this is where we must begin.  For the voices of the world are loud, they are legion, and they are growing exponentially.  These outer voices each have their most decidedly necessary prescription for our lives.  Each screams louder than the next, insisting we listen to what they [sic] say, what we should need, want, buy, and do, to have a life of enough” (p. 8).


“Wayne Muller,” it explains on the back flyleaf,”is a Santa Fe-based therapist, public speaker, minister, and bestselling author.  His previous books include Legacy of the Heart; How, Then, Shall We Life?; Sabbath; and Learning to Pray.  He is the founder of Bread for the Journey, a nonprofit organization that supports community organizing and neighborhood philanthropy.”  I mention this simply because you would expect this book to be a religious one.  The author, however, responds: “I have no concern whether one is religious or not, whether one believes in heaven, or hell, or penance for indulging in these sins. . .” (p. 15).


Later in this same early chapter he says, “I have no interest here in any moral argument regarding sin as a religious precept.  I honor and respect any spiritual community that dedicates itself to creating a world where people’s lives matter, where they try to do more good than evil, do no harm, practice loving compassion and service to others.  Indeed,” he adds, “I take this seriously enough that I answered my own personal call to graduate from theological seminary and become an ordained minister” (p. 18).


I love the many truths that you find between these covers.  For example, “Let us be clear: The choices we make each day are rarely bold, weighty things that immediately, absolutely, and irreversibly eradicate the life we know and force us into a completely new, untried, and untested path for the rest of our lives. . . “ (p. 29).


Another simple truth: “If we can know with confidence and trust the source of love, the unshakable veracity of why we live and work and struggle and give, and remember always what we are living for, the choices we face each day regarding how we will choose and act and move will become vastly less complex and more simple” (p. 37).


And this comment, too, reveals the quiet, peaceful, soothing, and reassuring approach Muller takes: “In opening ourselves to the unknown, our choices may not find an authority within logic, reason, and accumulated evidence but rather in more subtle nuances of intuition, feeling, and sense.  So rather than presenting themselves with bold, decided confidence, bolstered by facts and figures, our choices reveal with tender humility, in a soft, open palm.  We may not know if we are choosing ‘correctly,’ but we can begin to trust from where the choice arose” (p. 43).


Now that you have a sense of how Muller writes, let me explain a number of other things about this book.  The book is 239 pages long (8.1 x 5.7-inches in size) with 61 short (average 4-pages each) chapters.  Each focuses on a particular story or example, and often there are additional poems to illustrate or simply expand on an idea.  Occasionally, too, there are short pieces that relate to religion.  For example, “This is, of course, nothing at all revolutionary or new.  For ages people have described feeling guided by the Holy Spirit, following the will of God, or living in respectful obedience to the ways of the Great Spirit; others take refuge in the precepts of right speech, right mindfulness, or right action” (p. 61).  There is nothing pushy here, just references and reminders and notations.


Muller concludes his chapter on “Listening,” saying, “So we begin by listening—a deep listening, with the ear of the heart, practiced among widely diverse spiritual communities.  We listen for, name accurately, feel our way into, make peace with, what is, for us, for love, for life, for today, enough” (p. 149).


This is the kind of book that is best read in solitude — a place where you can meditate, contemplate, ponder, reflect, ruminate, and lose yourself in thought.  It is a gentle, peaceful, soothing book that has the same effect on your mind as it has on your body.  It is an absolutely wonderful collection of thoughts, stories, and ruminations, and I assure you, that if you put this book on your “must read” list, you will not be disappointed.

This book is available at Amazon.com: A life of being, having, and doing enough

I am a neurotic (and so are you)

I am a neurotic (and so are you)
By Lianna Kong


Book review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.


This is not the kind of book I pick up.  This is not the kind of book I read.  This is not the kind of book I review, and I had no intention of reviewing it once I had it home and discovered what it was!  How’s that for an introduction?


It’s a very quick read (less than an hour).  The pictures are interesting and the neuroses are . . . interesting.  They are a collection of anonymous ideas submitted to an online blog that asked for them.


Many of the ideas — even though they may be true — are quite silly: “I always have to burn any meat I eat. I am so worried I will smell that undercooked, moist essence,” or, “Whenever I kiss my girlfriend I have a need to push my glasses up using her nose,” or “I can only eat jelly doughnuts by squeezing all the jelly out.”


I find most of the neuroses unique.  That is, I think they are peculiar to individuals and not the least bit universal in nature.  Also, I don’t find them neuroses (disorders of the psychic or mental functions) about which neurotics “suffer” (according to the dictionary).  They are, instead, quirks, mannerisms, or idiosyncrasies; however, I’m not sure when a quirk, mannerism, or idiosyncrasy becomes a neurosis.  When does it cross the line?  When it becomes a habit or a defining characteristic?


Yes, you will find that most of them do not fit your own modus operandi — the way you normally behave.  And, because of that, it might make you feel more sane or normal, that’s true.


But we all have little quirks.  The way we squeeze the toothpaste tube, the order in which we eat the food on a plate, the way we get dressed in the morning, the route we take to get to work, the order in which we do our exercises and how many of each we do, which e-mail messages we answer and in which order, etc., etc., etc. . . .


This is not a book I would order (there is virtually no substance here), and it makes no sense as a reference book.  If you left it in your bathroom just to read at those critical moments when you need a book to read, you would finish it in two or three seatings.  The quirks are short; however, they offer little, if any, insight into the human condition or into human behavior since they are totally anecdotal in nature and being relegated to idiosyncrasies rather than to anything supported with evidence, there is no generalization that can be developed based on their expression — except one: Lianna Kong found an interesting way in which to put a book together!


This book is available at Amazon.com: I am neurotic (and so are you)