Monday, August 29, 2011

I can make you confident: The power to go for anything you want!

By Paul McKenna

Book review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.

    
I put on the CD that accompanies the book as I began to read it.  Interestingly, it offers a soothing background for reading: a soft voice (almost a whisper) that is ongoing and comforting, music that is truly ethereal and subtle, ideas that are reinforcing, positive, and confidence-inducing, and an echo (at times) or a double voice that sounds almost ghostly.  (Using a microphone with speakers that offer a heavy bass, I often role play the voice of a ghost at Halloween, so I know exactly what a ghost should sound like! —said with a smile on my face!)   I was intrigued from the outset.

Now, I have to admit that I am not one who needs more confidence, and I would never be the one who would approach McKenna at one of his public performances and say, “I’m just not a confident person.”  Nonetheless, the title of the book and the CD intrigued me.

I was caught, too, with one of his marginal boxes (I use a plethora of marginal boxes in my textbook with McGraw-Hill, Communicating Effectively, so being “caught” is not at all unusual.).  On page 15, he quotes Aristotle as saying, “We are what we repeatedly do.  Excellence than is not an act, but a habit.”  I might use that quotation in a future edition of my textbook.  Another marginal quote that caught my attention was by Sir John Lubbock: “What we see depends mainly on what we look for.”

His choices for marginal quotes, for the most part, added interest (for me) to his book, for there are no footnotes, no references, no suggested readings, no bibliography, and no other sources cited of any kind (except for the marginal boxes).  He uses numerous personal experiences for his support or the experiences shared with him by others.

Thus, so far, I have been swept up by this book and CD!  But a warning is necessary: This is simply and forthrightly a book (and CD) designed to plant the “seeds of confidence, self-belief, and motivation” (p. 1) — nothing more.  That is McKenna’s goal and purpose.

Although the book is about 213 pages long, it is really much shorter than that because there are wide margins, and the lines are almost double-spaced (about 1 3/4ths spaces apart).

The main ideas with which McKenna deals are developing the confidence habit, motivation, and confidence in the real world.  Because of my interest in public speaking, I paid special attention to pages 164-172.  He says “there are only three things you need to do in order to feel easy and comfortable making powerful presentations in front of even the largest group: 1. Manage your state.  2. Know your content.  3. Speak with passion” (p. 164).  And I would totally agree; however, that is precisely the problem.  People are unable to manage their emotions, they do not know their content well-enough (often, they think they do!), and because of their negative emotions (fear), their
passion becomes muted — sapped.  To help him find passion before he speaks, McKenna recommends asking yourself two simple questions: 1) What is the essence of my message to the audience? and 2) What experience do I want them to have from listening to my talk? (p. 170).

The essence of what McKenna does is to use NLP (neurolinguistic programming) and hypnosis to change mindsets — to plant the seeds of change.  He has you imagine positive situations (even create movies that illustrate concrete, encouraging, and supportive behaviors), and then he has you step into those situations and take on the behaviors you have imagined.

If you lack confidence in yourself, if you are looking for motivation to do the things you want to do, if you need help to overcome the fear of public speaking, poor business performance, problems in dating and sex, or in how to leave bad situations, then this book may offer you some assistance.  Much of your success will depend on your own ability, persistence, and desire, but isn’t that the true story of our lives?  We can depend on teachers, facilitators, and mentors for only so long, then changing any behavior at all is up to us.

This book can be found at Amazon.com: I can make you confident: The power to go for anything you want!

Monday, August 22, 2011

The way we’re working isn’t working

By Tony Schwartz


Book review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.


I agree with Schwartz’s basic premise that “nearly 75 percent of employees around the world feel disengaged at work every day.”  Also, I think that Schwartz’s ideas for “reenergizing our lives so we’re both more satisfied and more productive,” are on target.
    
Schwartz includes a 3-page bibliography and over 13 pages of notes.


His first three chapters (and their titles) clearly identify the problem: 1) “more & More, Less & Less (overwhelmed with technology and the urgencies that correspond, our creativity, quality, engagement, throughtful deliberation, and performance is undermined), 2) “We Can’t Change What We Don’t Notice,” and 3) “We’re Creature of Habit.”  Unfortunately, people cannot override negative inertia, and one book, no matter how good, cannot and will not (is unlikely to) help.


Make no mistake, this is a very good book and Schwartz’s strategies in the four areas of physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual, are excellent — not necessarily ground breaking (or earth shattering) — but certainly they are fine ideas none-the-less.  I liked, for example, in the area of the physical, his chapters, “Sleep or Die,” and “Use It or Lose It.”  “The Facts and the Stories We Tell,” in the “emotional” area discussed “realistic optimism” and perception.  Excellent chapters.  The chapter, “Cultivating the Whole Brain,” in the “mental” part of the book is very good, and the chapter, “Purpose for Passion,” in the “spiritual” part is also well done.  Schwartz has some very good ideas.


I though Schwartz’ inclusion of “The Big Ideas,” Chapters 1-20 (pp. 277-296), which summarized all his chapters, was a great addition to this book.


Overall, I this book is superbly written, includes captivating stories and examples, offers well-illustrated (with tables and graphs) concepts, and uses excellent sources.  The average rating of the 21 reviews written at Amazon.com as I completed this review was five stars out of five.  That certainly says a lot.  


What I find unfortunate in all of this is that those who need this information the most will never see or read it.


This book can be found at Amazon.com: The way we’re working isn’t working

Monday, August 15, 2011

The end of work as you know it: 8 strategies to redefine work on your own terms

By Milo Sindell and Thuy Sindell

http://www.amazon.com/End-Work-You-Know-Strategies/product-reviews/1580089976/ref=cm_cr_dp_all_helpful?ie=UTF8&coliid=&showViewpoints=1&colid=&sortBy=bySubmissionDateDescending

Book review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.

This is a well-written book full of great ideas; however, it is not for everyone.  Those who are truly interested in ending work as they know it, must have special qualities many people in the workforce today either do not possess or do not want to possess (that is, they strive for nothing more than what they have).  The authors acknowledge that those who want to achieve the end that is the title of this book, must have “confirmation that [they] are worthy of what [they] want to achieve.”  What does this mean?  It means they must ALREADY possess “99 percent of what is required to achieve ]their] end of work” (p. xv).
   
You may wonder, 99% of what?  That is what Sindell and Sindell’s chapters are all about.  If you do not already possess expertise, forget it.  If you cannot already initiate change, this book will do little to help.  If you do not have the capacity to gain autonomy, do not tread here.  If you have no way or have never created meaning, this is not the time nor the place to start.  Can you spark creativity, seize recognition, maintain balance in your life, or build a legacy?  You see, this book is not a starting place; it builds on the talents and abilities you already possess.
   
I would add, too, that if you have all these talents and abilities in place, you either do not need this slender book (122 pages), or you have already discovered a wonderful, pleasing, satisfying place (or life style) that is completely rewarding.  That is, you’re already there.
   
So, what we have here is a book for an incredibly small, niche audience.
   
I’m not saying the material isn’t good, nor am I saying that the suggestions are unworthy, I’m simply saying that if you’ve established the credentials that the author outlines at the outset, then it is unlikely this book will offer much help — except, perhaps, reinforce and underscore your talents and abilities.  Offering you something new or something you have not discovered (if you are truly 99% there?), not so much.

This book can be found at Amazon.com: The end of work as you know it: 8 strategies to redefine work on your own terms

Monday, August 8, 2011

Marry him: The case for settling for Mr. Good enough

By Lori Gottlieb

Book review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.

When I first read this book I didn’t think very much of it.  Why?  Maybe it was the title.  More, however, it was because I thought it was just one woman’s experiences, point of view, and advice.  Sure, she had tried speed dating, online searches, and worked with a dating coach in her attempts to find an adequate relationship partner, and she writes about these in a very readable and enjoyable manner, but anyone (I thought) could do what she did and then write about his or her experiences.  I found the book rather “talky” and “trite.”  But, I changed my tone having read some of the other reviews
on Amazon.com.  Readers found it particularly insightful, interesting, and thought-provoking.  (Shows you where my head is!)

Kate Oszko, from Brisbane, Australia, wrote, “It was a very easy read full of anecdotes and stories about what women look for and why really smart, talented and interesting women are often left alone. I guess it is reminding us to look beyond the obvious, not get too caught up in those endless "lists" of what we want in a man, and to focus on what we "need.”  Oszko ends her review by saying, “I had been having difficulty getting into reading, and this was a great way to get motivated again. It took me about a day and was interesting and thought provoking.”

Yolanda Mccarden ("YoYo") wrote, “I didn't really think I would like this book. I however found it interesting. I liked being able to see myself at different stages of dating - beginning in my twenties and now in my forties. I purchased this book for my mother - who just wanted to read it to see what it was about. She gave it to me and now I look at dating in my age bracket differently. I now can talk to my friends about the problems they've been having as well as addressing my own.”

Corin Duran wrote, “Please do not disregard this gem because of the title! I am married and heard about this book. I got it because I was intrigued and curious. I was not disappointed... it was witty, fun and refreshing. After reading the book, I realized that you don't have to be single to enjoy it. I'm not looking for a husband, not unhappy in my marriage and yet I gained a new appreciation for my relationship and my husband. This is truly a wonderful book that anybody could benefit from, no matter if you're single, married, divorced, separated, widowed, etc.”

When I began writing my review there were 92 reviews of Gottlieb’s book on Amazon.com, and the book received a rating of 4 1/2-stars out of 5.  That tells you something — maybe that I should not even begin to review a book that is “out of my league.”  I just have no experience in these areas.  Why did I choose to review the book?  I thought it might be interesting.  I like variety in my life.

Rachael S. Stern ("Rachel Stern") of Pikesville, Maryland, writes the following 5-star review of the book: “Having been successfully married for the past ten years, and having engaged in an active search for a mate before I met my late husband, I can say from experience that Lori essentially has it right. The most important ingredient in a successful relationship is this: empathy. Lori called it compassion, I believe, but I think of it as empathy.  If I wanted a guy to tell me He was so lucky to have married me then I had to tell him that I was the lucky one. If I wanted him to tell me that I was the best wife in the world, then I had to tell him he was the best husband in the world. It works. Treat others as you want to be treated yourself. The golden rule. Somewhere along the way, this has been forgotten.”  (If this was the essential discovery Stern received from her reading of the book, then I would suggest that the 318-page book was not especially valuable — and yet she gave it the full five stars!)

Listen to this 5-star review by Ali B. of New York, NY, “I can't tell you how absolutely fantastic this book is. I keep telling all my girlfriends about it. It's like a dirty romance novel that I just could not put down! It was also very relatable--very 2010--I easily could put myself in most situations, most especially [...]. It was very eye opening and enlightening. I think it can also empower women to open their eyes and see that there are actually a lot of great men out there, if we just relax and stay open minded.”

This 5-star review, by D. Wagner of Los Angeles, CA, says it all: “Are you a young single woman looking for love? You must read this book! How about a 40-something single woman? Single man? (Unhappily) married couple? Happy couple? You should ALL read this book! Why? Because it's one of the funniest, best researched books on relationships out there. Citing a variety of experts (matchmakers, psychologists, happy couples, economists ... even a rabbi), Lori Gottlieb gets to the heart of the issue: how we make decisions about love. Reading this book will likely help you to make better decisions when it comes to your love life - and perhaps decisions that could improve your life all around as well.”

See, there is no way I would be able to review this book appropriately — even though you DO get caught up in the stories and anecdotes.  From all the reviews I read, I understand 1) the value of the book, 2) for whom the book was written, and 3) the wit, charm, and style readers discovered in Gottlieb’s approach.  I’m a believer!  Just from the reviews, you get a clear idea of how well liked Gottlieb and this book are.  (I withdraw my concerns as well as my judgments of this book.  When the shoe fits, even when it’s not your foot, you must consider the feet of others!)

This book can be found at Amazon.com: Marry him: The case for settling for Mr. Good enough

Monday, August 1, 2011

Empire of illusion: The end of literacy and the triumph of spectacle


By Chris Hedges

Book review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.

When I find a book that challenges me to think and question, I want to shout about it to the world.  This is, indeed, one of those books.  It’s far more than that, however, for it clearly illustrates how fantasy, illusion, and escapism infuse our society, economy, and political system as one reviewer noted.  It doesn’t require a stretch to accept his observations; if you are a media user and an observer of popular culture, you will easily (and readily) confirm what he writes.

Chris Hedges is a terrific writer, and the material he writes about here (literacy, love, wisdom, happiness, and America) closely relate to all of us.  This is one of those “must read” books that will not only capture your imagination but will dwell in your thoughts long after you put this book down.

I thought his selection of subjects was excellent, his use of other thinkers and writers for support of his observations was outstanding, and his obvious reporter skills for precision and accuracy were well demonstrated.  Yes, it is “gloom and doom”; however, I truly believe that he is on the right track.  He does not set out to solve the problems he details, nor is he into “future gazing.”  He simply and methodically reports — as a competent reporter should.  And what he writes about, whether it is pro-wrestling, the porn industry, celebrity culture, or the dumbing down (corporate takeover) of higher education (and “the military-industrial-academic complex” (p. 91), is not just engaging, it overwhelms the senses.

He writes in Chapter 5, “The Illusion of America”: “At no period in American history has our democracy been in such peril or the possibility of totalitarianism as real.  Our way of life is over.  Our profligate consumption is finished.  Our children will never have the standard of living we had.  This is the bleak future.  This is reality.  There is little President Obama can do to stop it.  It has been decades in the making.  It cannot be undone with $1 trillion or $2 trillion in bailout money.  Nor will it be solved by clinging to the illusions of the past” (p. 145).

This is an important book, and as I said at the outset of this review, it is truly a “must read” for everyone.  We live in a time where spectacle triumphs!

This book can be found at Amazon.com: Empire of Illusion: The end of literacy and the triumph of spectacle